Have you ever caught yourself saying things like, “I should work out today,” or “I should be doing more at the gym”? That’s what we call “shoulding all over yourself”—a mindset that often leads to guilt, pressure, and a negative relationship with exercise. Let’s explore how to turn those “shoulds” into more empowering thoughts.

The Trap of “Shoulding” “Should” thoughts come from a place of external pressure rather than genuine motivation. When we say, “I should go for a run,” we’re implying that our current actions aren’t good enough. This perspective can drain the joy out of movement and make it feel like a chore.

A Different Approach: Find Your “Want To” Instead of “shoulding,” try to reframe your thoughts around exercise:

• What type of movement feels good today?
• What are some activities you want to do because they make you feel strong or energized?
• How can you move in a way that’s fun or relaxing?

Shifting from “I should exercise” to “I want to feel good by moving my body” turns exercise into a gift to yourself, not a task to check off. It becomes about listening to what your body wants and needs, instead of pushing it with external expectations.

Tips to Avoid “Shoulding” in Exercise:

• Set Intentions, Not Requirements: Instead of rigid workout rules, set flexible goals based on how you feel each day.
• Focus on Feeling: Pay attention to how different types of movement make you feel—energized, strong, or relaxed. Use these feelings as your motivation.
• Celebrate Small Wins: Every bit of movement counts. Celebrate walking the dog, stretching, or dancing in your kitchen as much as you would a workout.

By transforming “should” into genuine want, we cultivate a healthier, more sustainable relationship with movement. This approach fosters joy and consistency, making it easier to stay active for the long term.

What types of movement feel best for you and bring you joy?